Reflections on Emotional Autonomy in a World That Never Stops Asking for More
Let’s get one thing straight:
You are not "too sensitive," you are not "overreacting," and you’re definitely not “doing too much.” You’re just the only one in the room who’s awake.
Welcome to the chaos, dear reader. You didn’t cause the storm, but you are holding the microphone.
So, what do you do when life throws you the kind of narrative twist that makes even your therapist raise an eyebrow? You narrate. You don’t flinch, you don’t shrink—you become the main character with editing rights. Because emotional autonomy isn’t about suppressing your feelings; it’s about owning the hell out of them.
When Emotional Autonomy Becomes a Lifeline
For those of us with ADHD, trauma, a nervous system that startles like a spooked ferret, or all of the above (hi, hello), emotional autonomy is more than a wellness buzzword—it’s survival.
Society tells you to “stay grounded” while the ground is literally lava. To “stay calm” when you’ve been handed a generational playbook written by emotionally avoidant ancestors and narcissistic elders with a God complex. And in that chaos, we begin to ask:
“Is this my intuition? Or is this my trauma writing another speculative fiction novel without my consent?”
So... Is It Intuition or Trauma?
Let’s break it down:
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Intuition is the quiet, wise, seasoned old crone in your psyche knitting something beautiful while whispering, “That doesn’t feel safe.”
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Trauma is the feral cat in the alley screaming, “Everyone leaves. Run before they do.”
The problem? Both voices live in the same house, wear similar slippers, and use the same anxious tone. Which is why distinguishing between the two isn’t a weekend workshop—it’s a lifelong practice.
How to Tell the Difference (Without Gaslighting Yourself)
🔹 Your trauma screams. Your intuition nudges.
Trauma panics. Intuition pauses.
🔹 Your trauma reacts. Your intuition responds.
If you’re sprinting out of the metaphorical house with no shoes and a match in your hand, that’s probably trauma.
Your trauma protects you from connection. Your intuition protects you within connection.
Intuition tells you who feels safe to lean into. Trauma tells you no one is safe, ever, not even yourself.
So What Do You Do When You Can’t Tell the Difference?
Oh darling. You’re not alone. Here’s what helps when it’s murky:
📓 Journal like you're being published in The New Yorker.
Channel your inner essayist. Write it out without censoring. Be dramatic. Be tender. Be brutally observant. Somewhere in the rant, your truth will peek through.
🧘♀️ Body Scan.
Not the kind you pretend to do in yoga. A real check-in. Is your chest opening or clenching? Are your shoulders pretending to be earrings again?
📞 Phone a friend.
But not just any friend. Call the one who knows the full cast of characters, who has a secure attachment style, and who won’t offer “thoughts and prayers” but will Venmo you for wine and carbs.
💤 Sleep on it.
No, your dreams probably won’t spell it out in Times New Roman. But a well-rested nervous system tells a different story. Plus, let’s be real—half of your intuition is just hydration and REM.
🌿 Name your trigger. Feed your nervous system.
Name what scared you. Then counteract it. Weighted blanket. Low lights. Pet the dog. Turn off that TikTok therapist who thinks everyone you love is a narcissist.
Emotional Autonomy Means:
✨ Letting go of what they meant and focusing on how it felt.
✨ Deciding that your boundaries are not up for debate at Thanksgiving dinner.
✨ Choosing peace over performance—even if it disappoints people who only loved you when you were palatable.
✨ Rewriting the story in real time, with all the sarcasm, heartache, and holy anger it deserves.
So, If You’re Stuck in a Loop, Read This:
You’re not broken. You’re not failing healing because it hurts. You’re not back at square one. You’re evolving. You're narrating. And for once in your life, you’re not censoring yourself.
Ready to stop letting your past ghostwrite your future?
🎧 Tune into The Chaotic Good Podcast for unfiltered conversations on healing, humor, and emotional autonomy.
📰 Subscribe to the Chaotic Goodisms Newsletter for essays, guides, and righteous sass straight to your inbox.
Because emotional chaos doesn’t scare you anymore—not when you’re the one holding the pen.
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